Agents Don't...

Partly inspired by a twist on Richard Charkin's recent talk and his 'Don'ts for Publishers', we've turned this on its head and instead put together a list of ‘Agents Don't…’, intended to debunk some common myths about agents, or help explain how and why we agent!

 Agents Don't…

1. Publish your books. We seek a publisher for your book, and ensure your work is in the hands of a great editor and their team of marketers, publicists, digital experts and sales people.

2. Earn anything until you do. We work on a commission basis, so we only get paid when our authors do! This ensures that it's in everyone's best interests to take a book that's in the most appealing shape possible, to publishers, and why we might spend a lot of time honing your manuscripts and proposals before they go out on submission to editors.

3. Know the tastes of other agents. Strange to admit, but other agents are either our friends, our competition or both! We might know them socially, and know a little of their list of authors, but when it comes down to it representing a book is a personal business and we don't always know what floats another agent's boat. So that’s why we are very rarely able to recommend other agents if we turn your book down. Agency websites are most helpful; go and look at an agent's list and their bio, for the best information on what they're looking for.

4. Have any time to read during office hours. It's a common fallacy that we're to be found at our desks, feet propped on stacks of manuscripts, thumbing through our authors' newest deliveries and reading at our leisure. I WISH. Sadly there is no time to read during the day; we're busy negotiating deals and the resulting contracts, chasing payments and checking royalty statements, forwarding requests for our authors' appearances at festivals and events, meeting editors and listening to what they're looking for, liaising with publicity and marketing teams, catching up with colleagues on sending out our books for translation and media sales, and pursuing potential new authors. Very occasionally we might be able to squeeze some editing in on a Friday afternoon, but usually all reading (and editing) is done outside work hours.

5. Have the time to reply to submissions with detailed feedback. Unfortunately we simply don't have enough hours in the day to feedback our thoughts on your three chapters or proposal. And, if we want to be businesslike about it, it’s not in our interests to spend time editing a book we’re not going to work with! However, if we think a book is good enough to consider despite its flaws, or that it could be very interesting to us after a good edit, we will always say so. Equally, if the writer has talent but this book is not for us, we’ll say so.  And no book comes to us in perfect shape!

6. Appreciate rude or persistent writers, whether that's someone calling up the agency reception at regular and increasingly agitated intervals, or barging in on a conversation at a Fair or Festival. We know you're anxious to hear from us and, trust us, if you've a great book or idea then we will definitely be in touch. However, if you've a great book but have been rude to our receptionist or in chasing emails, we won't want to work with you. Polite and professional is the best way for us both to be!

7. Choose brand over book. It has to begin with a great novel or book idea, not just with one hundred million followers on Twitter (however helpful that might be further down the line!). Writers seem to worry a lot these days about their ‘profile’, and it can’t be denied that this is a concern to publishers sometimes too. However, we all need to be convinced that there’s a good, publishable book in whoever we represent (we would always hope that there are many good, publishable books ahead for an author), so the best introduction to us and to a publisher is with a winning idea and strong writing. Not every single author we work with is social-media savvy. I’d personally recommend using Twitter as it’s a LOT of fun and a brilliant place for talking to other writers and sharing writing experiences, as well as a valuable peek into the publishing industry via agents and editors, but it’s not essential.

8. Give up on an author after just one book. As mentioned above, we usually take on an author with a view to them having a long and fruitful career. This is why good writing is important; you could have one great idea, but then… nothing. But if you’re a good writer then we’ll keep chatting with you about potential new book ideas. And if your first book doesn’t sell, we’ll talk to you about pursuing something else. We’re in it for the long term!

9. Chase trends. Because a) we couldn’t possibly predict them (who saw FIFTY SHADES coming? Pardon the unintentional filthy pun) and b) we couldn’t keep up – most books benefit hugely from several months of editing, marketing and publicity, by which time the reading public is going crazy for the next trend: whatever happened to vampires?

 10. Go to lunches and parties just for the free booze. Yes, we know there is the popular belief that we are carousing every night, quaffing cheap party wine and canapes, but actually we go to these kind of social events (much less so now than a decade ago, too) to fit in catching up with editors and their colleagues, hearing about what they’re publishing and using these friendly occasions as an opportunity to pitch our books. And if we can munch a tiny quiche whilst we talk about our fantastic authors, so much the better.

11. Have to read just their own authors’ manuscripts and the submissions pile, but also a wide variety of newly-published books to keep up with competitors and publishing tastes. I try to cram in one non-‘work’ book per weekend, so I’m up-to-date with the books that are appealing to editors and readers alike. Why did everyone rave about The Fault in Our Stars? Best way to find out is to read it…

12. Only make deals.  It’s all about career planning and thinking strategically, looking ahead to try and shape an author’s career in the long term. We’re also sounding boards for our writers, who might come to us with new ideas and their plans for their futures; we maintain a continuous conversation about how we’re going to develop an author and their books, and how best to get them to where they want to be. This is becoming especially important in an ever-evolving publishing landscape, with new platforms, formats and models to explore with our authors.

13. Like telling their clients about rejections.  It hurts the agent too: they’ve taken the client on because they admire and love their work, and have a genuine and unswerving belief that a book should be published. Rejections are rubbish for everyone, and don’t get any easier!

 14. Exist in a vacuum.  We’re all actually human (strange as it might seem) and while reading and editing seeps into every moment of our supposedly spare time, we do occasionally have to have time off, do something else, to maintain perspective. (I don’t think we ever REALLY switch off, but a bit of fresh air can do wonders for new inspiration…) Just as writers are advised to put a book to one side for a little while once they’ve finished the first draft, in order to edit with a bit of new perspective, we all benefit from a break.

15. Sit behind our desks ignoring submissions, feeling superior or polishing our keys to the gates of publishing. (In short: take everything you read about publishing in the newspapers or similar, with a LARGE pinch of salt.) We're desperate to find good books and great authors; we comb our submissions pile as frequently and as thoroughly as we can, and are always happy to meet new writers, whether on Twitter or IRL. It's important for us to be accessible and excitable! And we never get bored of finding that next incredible book. 

By Juliet Pickering

For New Screenwriters – Making the Right Impression

Our Media Department's Ellen Gallagher talks scripts, submissions & selling yourself short. The first of our weekly blog posts from authors, agents and assistants (serious alliteration skills here). 

A wise woman once said “if I see another submission addressed to ‘Dear Sir’, I’ll scream”. That woman was me, and I’m using the word ‘wise’ with a healthy dose of poetic license.

My point here can be distilled into a fairly simple maxim – a writer ought to remember that their relationship with an agent will be a close working partnership; it’s business, yet not ‘one size fits all’.

So it does get a little exasperating to receive blanket query letters which have clearly been copied and sent to all the other agencies in town, especially when they’re not even addressed to an individual agent by name. If you don’t really care who at each agency sees your work, you’re sending the message that getting an agent (ANY agent) means more to you than approaching a long-term writing career in a smart and businesslike manner. Which immediately puts you at a disadvantage, as agents are looking for serious writers who have thought carefully about their future career.

As a writer, it should matter to you WHO represents your work. Hoping that a scatter approach to querying will cover more ground is understandable up to a point; but in the long-run, it’s a risky strategy. If your script ends up with an agent who recognizes that it’s well-written, and so takes you on as their client, but doesn't 100% know what to do with it, it could end up gathering dust in a drawer instead of gathering interest and advancing your career.

Does the agent have a vested interest in the area(s) of writing in which you want to work? Does their list of existing clients strike a chord with you, do you think they’ll ‘get’ your work and thus be great at ‘bigging it up’ in a room with producers? Will they have strong, established working relationships with those producers in your field and genre, with whom you want to work and who are likely to reciprocate that enthusiasm?

If you do your homework before approaching an agent, you can ultimately save yourself (and us) quite a bit of time. If you approach an agent whose stated areas of expertise are horror and crime with your family comedy, you might not get far and will seem somewhat ill-prepared and naive.

Truly great writing will out – if the agent you sent it to can’t take you on, but your script is awesome, it’s not the end of the road. At Blake Friedmann, we will pass scripts to one another if we feel the writer would be suited to another agent. You needn't send it ‘to whom it may concern’ in fear of choosing the wrong agent to directly address. But do be sure to send it to an agent whom your research suggests is likely to respond well to a script such as yours. Otherwise, it will possibly be rejected outright as unsuitable, or pushed into a towering general reading pile from which it will take some time to be read and noticed.

So let’s say you've got one really, really great script written. You've hammered out that first draft, redrafted it a few times and you feel it’s now the best it can be.

Chances are, this isn't enough - yet.

You probably need to write some more before you’re ready for an agent – if an agent or producer likes your work, one of the first things they’re likely to ask is ‘what else have you got?’ If the answer is ‘nothing’, you risk losing their interest. Give yourself the best chance of retaining their attention by having at least one more really polished project with which to dazzle them. You don’t want to seem like a potential ‘one hit wonder’.

So you've written a few things now, and are feeling confident in their quality. You've made the decision you’re ready to submit, and you have carefully chosen the agents whom you want to approach. There are still a couple of things to bear in mind…

With so many submissions coming in at each agency, it’s understandable that writers want to make themselves stand out from the crowd. This is good, as we’re looking for stand-out writers too. But it’s extremely important that you stand out as a talented and professional writer – ‘zany’ submissions aren't the way to go. Here are just a few examples of what not to do, gleaned across my career so far:

• Don’t start your query letter with DEAR MONEY-GRABBING B*STARDS. Yes, I did actually receive one like this. I think they were going for a memorable effect – they achieved that, but this submission didn't lend itself to being taken seriously.
• Don’t douse your submission with perfume or aftershave. This happened once and set off someone’s allergies, which was a bit annoying.
• Don’t pepper your submission with self-deprecation – I once received one which continually asserted that we ‘probably wouldn't be interested’ – don’t do that to yourself. Be sure that we will be interested, then be quietly confident – that’s the best way to appear professional.

Ways to make yourself stand out include having some credits or performances of your work which you can put on your writing CV. Perhaps you could stage your work somewhere and invite reviewers, pick a positive quote from one of the reviews to include in your query letter.

Maybe try entering some industry-linked competitions to see if you can make the shortlist or even win (such as the BBC Writers’ Room, the Red Planet Prize, the Ustinov Prize and others – a list is kept by ScriptAngel Hayley McKenzie here.

Why not arrange a rehearsed reading of your script – you can find out who the newer agents are at each agency, who might be looking to build their client lists, and invite the ones who might respond well to your work. They might not all be able to come, but it’s worth a try if you can make it happen – the added benefit for you is getting to see your work read aloud, which is hugely helpful in determining what does and doesn't ‘work’ in performance as well as on the page. Do some research – is there a fringe festival or theatre group in your local area through which you could get your work performed?

Anything you can do to get your work out there and generating some hype can only be beneficial, rather than leaving it to sit on your PC’s hard drive (or Mac, let’s face it, you write scripts – there’s a fair chance you’re a Mac person). This shows an agent that you’re proactive and motivated – remember, even when you do have an agent, the onus is still on you to make connections, be creative and excite people with your ideas. If you've got a writer’s CV with a few things on it (a play production, a competition shortlisting, a short film review perhaps), you’re immediately looking like a ‘new writer’ as opposed to an ‘aspiring writer’, which is a step up the ladder.

An agent can open some doors for you, but only if you’re driven enough to push yourself through them. So if you courteously get your work out there in front of audiences, readers and reviewers who can vouch for you, you make yourself seem like the sort of person who isn't going to sit back and wait for success to come to them. Then, you could be making a better impression than those of your peers who don’t make that effort. I’ll repeat that word though – courteously. Do always be polite, as you would in any professional situation. You might be surprised how many people forget that.

So in summary - give your submission the best shot at being appreciated. Draft it, redraft it, make it the best it can possibly be, get something to put on your writer’s CV – then don’t screw up your chances by making an overly hasty, ill-prepared impression upon submitting.

…and we've said it before, but it bears repeating – PLEASE READ AN AGENCY’S SUBMISSIONS GUIDELINES before submitting to them. Most agencies have these guidelines on their website - don’t submit if you don’t fit their criteria, or if they’re not accepting submissions. Your script won’t be read and you’ll seem strangely incapable of reading – a bit of a problem for someone wanting to make a good impression as a writer! For instance, Blake Friedmann are only able to consider submissions from screenwriters with produced screenwriting credits.

Similarly, please don’t telephone to ask how to submit if the guidelines are right there on the website. I’m sure you’ll understand how frustrating that can be for the person answering the phones if they have to repeat information, which is already publicly available, multiple times each day!

Of course, this is NOT a set of orders, instructions or a guarantee that following this advice will get you represented. Often, an agency is simply not taking on new clients at the time you submit, or isn't looking to expand their list in the genre in which you've written. If that’s the case and you do receive the odd rejection despite being super pro-active and talented, don’t despair – keep on searching for that perfect agent pairing. Remember, legend has it that William Golding’s LORD OF THE FLIES was rejected 20 times before it found its home. Rejections are part of the deal, accept them and look elsewhere.

The best of luck with it!

For New Screenwriters – Making the Right Impression

Our Media Department's Ellen Gallagher talks scripts, submissions & selling yourself short. The first of our weekly blog posts from authors, agents and assistants (serious alliteration skills here). 

A wise woman once said “if I see another submission addressed to ‘Dear Sir’, I’ll scream”. That woman was me, and I’m using the word ‘wise’ with a healthy dose of poetic license.

My point here can be distilled into a fairly simple maxim – a writer ought to remember that their relationship with an agent will be a close working partnership; it’s business, yet not ‘one size fits all’.

So it does get a little exasperating to receive blanket query letters which have clearly been copied and sent to all the other agencies in town, especially when they’re not even addressed to an individual agent by name. If you don’t really care who at each agency sees your work, you’re sending the message that getting an agent (ANY agent) means more to you than approaching a long-term writing career in a smart and businesslike manner. Which immediately puts you at a disadvantage, as agents are looking for serious writers who have thought carefully about their future career.

As a writer, it should matter to you WHO represents your work. Hoping that a scatter approach to querying will cover more ground is understandable up to a point; but in the long-run, it’s a risky strategy. If your script ends up with an agent who recognizes that it’s well-written, and so takes you on as their client, but doesn't 100% know what to do with it, it could end up gathering dust in a drawer instead of gathering interest and advancing your career.

Does the agent have a vested interest in the area(s) of writing in which you want to work? Does their list of existing clients strike a chord with you, do you think they’ll ‘get’ your work and thus be great at ‘bigging it up’ in a room with producers? Will they have strong, established working relationships with those producers in your field and genre, with whom you want to work and who are likely to reciprocate that enthusiasm?

If you do your homework before approaching an agent, you can ultimately save yourself (and us) quite a bit of time. If you approach an agent whose stated areas of expertise are horror and crime with your family comedy, you might not get far and will seem somewhat ill-prepared and naive.

Truly great writing will out – if the agent you sent it to can’t take you on, but your script is awesome, it’s not the end of the road. At Blake Friedmann, we will pass scripts to one another if we feel the writer would be suited to another agent. You needn't send it ‘to whom it may concern’ in fear of choosing the wrong agent to directly address. But do be sure to send it to an agent whom your research suggests is likely to respond well to a script such as yours. Otherwise, it will possibly be rejected outright as unsuitable, or pushed into a towering general reading pile from which it will take some time to be read and noticed.

So let’s say you've got one really, really great script written. You've hammered out that first draft, redrafted it a few times and you feel it’s now the best it can be.

Chances are, this isn't enough - yet.

You probably need to write some more before you’re ready for an agent – if an agent or producer likes your work, one of the first things they’re likely to ask is ‘what else have you got?’ If the answer is ‘nothing’, you risk losing their interest. Give yourself the best chance of retaining their attention by having at least one more really polished project with which to dazzle them. You don’t want to seem like a potential ‘one hit wonder’.

So you've written a few things now, and are feeling confident in their quality. You've made the decision you’re ready to submit, and you have carefully chosen the agents whom you want to approach. There are still a couple of things to bear in mind…

With so many submissions coming in at each agency, it’s understandable that writers want to make themselves stand out from the crowd. This is good, as we’re looking for stand-out writers too. But it’s extremely important that you stand out as a talented and professional writer – ‘zany’ submissions aren't the way to go. Here are just a few examples of what not to do, gleaned across my career so far:

• Don’t start your query letter with DEAR MONEY-GRABBING B*STARDS. Yes, I did actually receive one like this. I think they were going for a memorable effect – they achieved that, but this submission didn't lend itself to being taken seriously.
• Don’t douse your submission with perfume or aftershave. This happened once and set off someone’s allergies, which was a bit annoying.
• Don’t pepper your submission with self-deprecation – I once received one which continually asserted that we ‘probably wouldn't be interested’ – don’t do that to yourself. Be sure that we will be interested, then be quietly confident – that’s the best way to appear professional.

Ways to make yourself stand out include having some credits or performances of your work which you can put on your writing CV. Perhaps you could stage your work somewhere and invite reviewers, pick a positive quote from one of the reviews to include in your query letter.

Maybe try entering some industry-linked competitions to see if you can make the shortlist or even win (such as the BBC Writers’ Room, the Red Planet Prize, the Ustinov Prize and others – a list is kept by ScriptAngel Hayley McKenzie here.

Why not arrange a rehearsed reading of your script – you can find out who the newer agents are at each agency, who might be looking to build their client lists, and invite the ones who might respond well to your work. They might not all be able to come, but it’s worth a try if you can make it happen – the added benefit for you is getting to see your work read aloud, which is hugely helpful in determining what does and doesn't ‘work’ in performance as well as on the page. Do some research – is there a fringe festival or theatre group in your local area through which you could get your work performed?

Anything you can do to get your work out there and generating some hype can only be beneficial, rather than leaving it to sit on your PC’s hard drive (or Mac, let’s face it, you write scripts – there’s a fair chance you’re a Mac person). This shows an agent that you’re proactive and motivated – remember, even when you do have an agent, the onus is still on you to make connections, be creative and excite people with your ideas. If you've got a writer’s CV with a few things on it (a play production, a competition shortlisting, a short film review perhaps), you’re immediately looking like a ‘new writer’ as opposed to an ‘aspiring writer’, which is a step up the ladder.

An agent can open some doors for you, but only if you’re driven enough to push yourself through them. So if you courteously get your work out there in front of audiences, readers and reviewers who can vouch for you, you make yourself seem like the sort of person who isn't going to sit back and wait for success to come to them. Then, you could be making a better impression than those of your peers who don’t make that effort. I’ll repeat that word though – courteously. Do always be polite, as you would in any professional situation. You might be surprised how many people forget that.

So in summary - give your submission the best shot at being appreciated. Draft it, redraft it, make it the best it can possibly be, get something to put on your writer’s CV – then don’t screw up your chances by making an overly hasty, ill-prepared impression upon submitting.

…and we've said it before, but it bears repeating – PLEASE READ AN AGENCY’S SUBMISSIONS GUIDELINES before submitting to them. Most agencies have these guidelines on their website - don’t submit if you don’t fit their criteria, or if they’re not accepting submissions. Your script won’t be read and you’ll seem strangely incapable of reading – a bit of a problem for someone wanting to make a good impression as a writer! For instance, Blake Friedmann are only able to consider submissions from screenwriters with produced screenwriting credits.

Similarly, please don’t telephone to ask how to submit if the guidelines are right there on the website. I’m sure you’ll understand how frustrating that can be for the person answering the phones if they have to repeat information, which is already publicly available, multiple times each day!

Of course, this is NOT a set of orders, instructions or a guarantee that following this advice will get you represented. Often, an agency is simply not taking on new clients at the time you submit, or isn't looking to expand their list in the genre in which you've written. If that’s the case and you do receive the odd rejection despite being super pro-active and talented, don’t despair – keep on searching for that perfect agent pairing. Remember, legend has it that William Golding’s LORD OF THE FLIES was rejected 20 times before it found its home. Rejections are part of the deal, accept them and look elsewhere.

The best of luck with it!